Beset by Enemies

Translation: Once again, I am America.

Leakssssssss

Translation: I'm in trouble.

Related: Do leaks, if the President is correct in his accusations, help preserve or erode American democracy?

TrumpCare

Translation: I will unilaterally, without help from Democrats or Republicans in Congress, and through the power of magical thinking, insure everyone.

Leakier Than The Titanic!

Translation: I liked Wikileaks. These? Not so much. Sad!

Stephen Miller In Charge

Translation: It may have terrified many smart people, but Miller's okay in my book!

Everywhere I Go, Supporters

Translation: Even though my supporters were outnumbered by protesters, they barely got a mention.

Trump First!

Translation: Mark Cuban knows me well. He told people to put America over me, which is stupid because I *am* America.

That'll Teach You, Bernie

Translation: Sanders was making fun of me and, thank God, somebody, probably Russian hackers, interrupted the audio connection.

Criminals Among Us

Translation: If I call them all "criminals," I can deport any of them.

And They're Pouring In

Translation: I'm going to rely on the Washington Times' citation of the racist Center for Immigration Studies to scare Americans about screened refugees from some of the most terrible places on Earth.

Additional: Refugees were already being screened. Here's a video.

Loving Hating the Times

Translation: The New York Times printed story before knowing that I'd snuck in a phone call to Mr. Xi, so every story that's ever out of date is now "FAKE NEWS."

The Price is Right

Translation: I'm willing to spend more American lives so I can tweet my wins.

McCain, and America Divided

Translation: I got help writing this tweet because "emboldens" is so not me, but McCain, a so-called war hero, can't fix our divided country, a condition for which I'm partly responsible.

Ask What I Want Or Else

Translation: It doesn't matter what the purpose of your interview is, if you don't try to embarrass people I don't like, it's "FAKE NEWS."

How to Move Statistics

Translation: 91% of Republican bought my lie that you can't trust the media, and managed to pull the center just a hair my way. These are many of the same people, 1 in 4 Americans, who believe that Obama may be the Anti-Christ.

Daddy Loves His Girl

Translation: The security briefing was pretty boring, so I decided to see if I could trash Nordstrom's stock.

Dealing with Russia and Iran

Translation: I am carefully saying "I have no deals in Russia" because I don't want to admit that I have many Russian investors, and my prior deals have fallen through. I like to criticize Obama, but I will continue his policy of sanctions.

Patience is for Punks

Translation: Orderly, sound, trans-departmental roll-outs are for punks. I want to turn our institutional directions on a dime. Not my dime. Your dime.

They Had To Say Sorry. Had To.

Translation: The New York Times voluntarily engaged in self-reflection and couched their failure to forecast my electoral phenomenon accurately as an apology.

Lies, All Lies

Translation: The New York Times is out of control because I can't control them. I hate it when they post fact-based articles, like this today.

My Biggest, Best Cherries

Translation: I heavily vet my news to support my agenda, and everyone knows it. When confronted with conventional collections of facts, I feel marginalized, and triggered. I also struggle with subject-verb agreement.

Translation: If I don't like it, it's "fake news." You want bans whether you realize it or not.

Winning

Translation: I'm still mad at Representative John Lewis and his constituency in Atlanta.

Heads Up

Translation: No one ever cared about you or did anything to protect you before I became President. The courts want you to die.

New York Times

Translation: I hate the NYT for pointing out things like the judge I called a "so-called" judge is also Republican.

The NYT apology to readers

Judge Robart

Case study of actual "fake news"

Super Bowl

Translation: Tomorrow, before big guys play football, O'Reilly will toss me some softballs.

Wringing Hands

Translation: What is our country coming to when the President has to obey laws?

Trader Don

Translation: Americans should pay more for imports to satisfy my anger. 

"Deliver Us From Evil"

Translation: My playground, my rules.

Additional: Contrasting Obama and Trump

Immigration Concerns

Translation: When I cannot punish Muslim countries with whom I have no business arrangements, it's very upsetting for me.